just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
