If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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