I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
