Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
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She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
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The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
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