i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
