i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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