Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
sex in a hospital.. check
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
