Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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