Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
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Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
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"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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