Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
