That's when you crack a 10am beer
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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