Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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