I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
