He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
