Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
