i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
