ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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