This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
