I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
