my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Randomize
