im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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