she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
