I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
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