yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Randomize
