It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
