Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
