he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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