Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
if only i could text you this smell
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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