I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
Randomize
