You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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