He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
