Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
