ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Watching her eat just hurts me
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Randomize
