dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
