So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Randomize
