I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize