hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Randomize
