you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
