I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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