I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
