giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Text me some of your sweat
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
