wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize