did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize