I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
my sisters under your porch take her home
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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