i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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