Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
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