Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize