either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
