Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one