it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
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