I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
