ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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