When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
