I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
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