I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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