Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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