Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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