Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
two words: eviction party
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
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