I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize